Winter Blues

I don't know about everyone else, but I definitely get hit with the winter blues. Between the cold, the lack of sunlight, or the lack of really being able to do anything, I always get a sense of futility during the winter. It's almost like a mini-flare. I can't go outside to play, I can't run around, and I really don't want to go places (although now it's because -35 is just too cold to go for a walk in).

Right now I've especially been getting hit with the blues. Because it's so cold, my intestines feel like they're cramping up when I go outside. As well, I'm really hating my diet - I'm not a rabbit, so why would I constantly want to be eating leafy things? However, when I eat something that's not on my diet, my stomach grumbles at me. This morning I had grapes for breakfast, which earned me some quality time in the first floor bathroom in the library.

As great the opportunities have been through my disease, I definitely am feeling the hopelessness that sometimes comes along with chronic diseases. With the clinical trial, I was hoping that I would finally feel good, but I'm tired all the time, even after eight hours of sleep.

I'm not one to bemoan my disease, so I'm trying to think of a way out of these winter blues. There's a support group meeting coming up this thursday, so I'm thinking quality time with the Crohnies will be beneficial. This year I've realized that I've been immersing myself more within the IBD community - between the support group, national council, and just spending more time with the Crohnies on campus.

I think that is a good way to stay away from those sad feelings. Don't try to pretend the disease doesn't exist, but embrace it, and see all of the good aspects that come from it. Although I have to admit, that's not always the easiest thing to do. Some of the Crohnies on campus see the psychologist at school regularly. I've heard that over 90% of people with IBD are depressed - maybe we should all make a committment to finding someone we can talk to about our problems. They're too difficult to live with on your own. Just the other day I had my first accident of the school year. Right afterwards, I texted my Crohnies and we bashed IBD and made poop jokes and then ended up reminiscing about great times at camp. I know I wouldn't be able to do this without them.

I guess that would be my advice right now - talk it out. It's totally cliche, but the burden becomes easier to bear when you share it.